Friends!

So I got a little sappy on Pinterest today when I saw a quote about friendship and started my own "Friends" board.  

Moving to a new place always makes me reflect on friendship.  Probably because when you move to a new place you find yourself short on friends.  Since we've moved back to the midwest after six years in Santa Barbara I've managed to maintain weekly conversations with my three best friends (did you know you can have three-way phone conversations on the IPhone?!)  and it has made me really think about what it takes to be a friend and what I'm willing to put towards those friendships that I think could last a lifetime.

I'm really lucky because I have an awesome actual-family.  Not everyone does.  And to top it off, I have these close friends that I also consider "family" at this point.  When you move across the country and your closest family members are thousands of miles away, you kind of have to create your own local family.  After six years functioning as family members, I feel pretty confident that these ladies will continue to be my family for years to come, if not forever.  We've vacationed together, celebrated holidays together, laughed, cried, mourned and carried each other.  We are family.

I laughed when I read this one because it makes me think of Katherine.  You know that situation where people say something and you're like "What the?" but for whatever reason you shouldn't react that way and so you try to keep a straight face?  In those situations I have to keep my eyes away from looking at Katherine because I know I'll lose it if I see her face.  It makes me giggle just thinking about it.

When I was in the hospital in August I spent two nights there trying to deliver the baby.  I don't think I'll ever forget my conversation with JoAnn that first night.  I was high on morphine and she was tipsy on margaritas- she'd been at her "going away" party back in Santa Barbara earlier in the evening.  The minute she answered the phone she started crying.  Here she was, two thousand miles away, celebrating her husband's new job and their exciting future, but still feeling my pain.  

I don't think I started feeling better after losing the baby until my friends came to visit me.  All three of them made trips to Illinois in October- Marissa and Katherine all the way from Santa Barbara (Marissa with a 1 year old in tow) and JoAnn from Mississippi.  They sacrificed their time and money to travel all the way to central Illinois to see their sad friend.  It was only after their visits that I felt the weight of depression start to lift and could start to climb out of the sadness.

 I know, we aren't really sisters, but we're the closest thing to it for me and this is part of my friendship code.  I've got your back ladies.

20 Things Nobody Tells You About Moving Out Of The Midwest and into Southern California

I came upon this blog post yesterday called "20 Things Nobody Tells You About Moving Out of Southern California" when a friend of ours posted it on facebook.  He is a Southern California native and recently took a job in the midwest so he's experiencing his first winter there.  I read the article and could relate to some of it (like missing the great produce year round and how nobody puts "the" before highway names outside of CA).  Some of it was a little SoCal elitist for my taste (although to be clear, I do NOT think the friend who posted it is in ANY way elitist- he's one of the nicest people we met in California).

But then I got to thinking about how I am often charged with being a midwest elitist. And it's true.  And I'm cool with that.

So here's my (completely unofficial) version of the 20 Things Nobody Tells You- but mine is about moving out of the Midwest and into Southern California. (And keep in mind that I only lived in Santa Barbara, which isn't necessarily representative of all of Southern California).

20.) Not everyone knows about the Big 10.
Actually, a lot of people don't.  And I don't know what else to say about that.  I know, my mind was also blown.

19.) There aren't snow days, but there are fire days.
Which are way worse and much scarier.  Sorry, you can't come to work because there's a strong chance your work could catch on fire and the air is so smoky you wouldn't be able to breathe anyway.  Scary.  I'll take snow days, thanks.

18.) You'll miss real weather.
Yeah yeah, I know, Californian's think they have seasons.  But really, they don't, not compared to the midwest.  And quite honestly, the sunshine can get a bit oppressive.

17.) Breakfast burritos are amazing.  
We just moved back to the midwest and cannot find a good breakfast burrito to save our lives.  We tried one the first week we were here and it contained hot dogs and lettuce.

16.) You will find yourself explaining your home town location (even if it's a Big 10 University town)  in relation to Chicago. 
Because a surprisingly small amount of people can find Iowa on the map.

15.) The ocean is too cold to swim in.
I had visions of ocean swimming but it's REAL cold- too cold for me.

14.) The beaches are covered and tar, and you will be too.
And that stuff is nearly impossible to get off your feet.  (Hint: olive oil helps)

13.) There are no mosquitos (yay) but there are also no lightning bugs (sad).

12.) No matter how clean your house is and how tightly you close your lids, the ants will find their way in, and they will bring an army.
My friend JoAnn (cleanest person I know) had to call into work one day to handle the ant infestation in her kitchen.  The ants are no joke.

11.) Skunks love Southern California
It's a rare evening when you don't get a whiff of skunk.  They love it there.

10.) The dogs in Southern California are the happiest dogs on earth.
For obvious reasons- it's nice weather year round so they get to be outside a lot.  But it's also just a really dog-friendly culture.  Seriously, the dogs literally smile.

9.) It is physically impossible to dress for the "weather".
In the morning you need a sweater but by noon you're wishing you'd worn a tank top.  Layering will become your best friend.

8.) You will forget about Classic Rock.
We actually didn't realize this until we moved BACK to the midwest- In the midwest Classic Rock is the go-to genre for music that you hear in public places (restaurants, malls etc.) .  I think we went 6 years without hearing "More Than a Feeling" and "Layla".  Don't worry- we remembered the words.

7.) Everyone thinks you grew up on a farm.
Ok, that's not really fair.  Not EVERYONE.  But that was a first question for many people when they found out we were from Iowa.

6.) You will become accustomed to shopping at multiple grocery stores on a weekly basis.
Trader Joe's is so awesome, but they don't have everything I need, so I have to stop at Albertsons.  And I'll probably stop by Costco on the way home.

5.) You will feel pressured to spend time outdoors and you'll feel guilty if you don't.
It's such a beautiful day! How can you waste it watching a Real World marathon??

4.) Avocado is amazing on just about everything.
And much cheaper in Southern California- especially when you make friends with someone who has a tree in their back yard!!

3.) Corn isn't always sweet, and sometimes it's not even yellow.
If you grew up in Iowa like I did, you're used to delicious sweet corn in the summer.  The first time someone offered me corn on the cob in California I balked and shrieked "Why is it white??!!"  So while they be able to get avocados year round, they can't touch our sweet corn.

2.) Soccer is king.
Everybody plays it and everybody follows it.  It's like their version of football.  Oh, wait....

1.) You will miss the midwest.
So much that you might strike up conversation with total strangers wearing Iowa shirts, just for a little talk of home.