Woke up in the hospital this morning and got a sonogram before I got breakfast. There's still fluid around the baby but not necessarily any more than there was before. Poor little thing looks pretty scrunched in there without fluid to fill up the sack :( On the plus side, heart beat is still strong. It's a fighter!
Talked to a different specialist who laid things out for us and it made for a rough morning. Basically the odds are against this baby. Chances are I will either get an infection and have to terminate or my body will go into labor (could happen anytime) and we'll lose baby. Then we went down the rabbit hole and started talking about the what-if's of IF I can carry to viability. The statistics for preemies are pretty scary. I won't go into details because I'm trying to put it out of my mind and focus on the day-to-day. It was a rough morning.
We got discharged and checked into the hotel which was a giant relief- our hospital room was small and cramped and our hotel room is awesome. I am so lucky to have such an amazing brother and sister-in-law who so generously gave up their points to put us up for the week. Thank you so much Aaron and Megan!
I was feeling pretty low and decided to take a shower to relax a bit. I sat in the shower (I have to sit, it's part of the bed rest conditions) thinking about the morning and suddenly I was admonishing myself:
"You're doing this. You. Are. Doing. This. You're doing this. Suck it up, soldier up. You. Are. Doing. This."
Blessings today:
My husband- he is the best partner I can imagine.
This awesome hotel and my awesome brother and sister in-law. The hotel has been extremely helpful and accommodating.
My mom- apart from the obvious fact that she's the best, she went to the grocery store after we got to the hotel and stocked up the fridge.
My in-laws supporting and encouraging us and planning to come up tomorrow with our car.
My friend Anne from Michigan is going to pay us a visit tonight- I haven't seen her in 6 years and it will be great to see a friend.
My friend Bob Dane hooked us up with some contacts in the area that have already reached out to us today.
My friend Karen who I've known since birth but haven't seen in years messaged me on facebook and offered to donate HER Marriott rewards points if we needed them after this week. I am humbled by the generosity of friends.
All of our friends on facebook and otherwise that have expressed good wishes and prayers of support- we are uplifted by these prayers- I think we're surviving on prayer right now and we are running out of steam ourselves so it's comforting knowing others are praying too.
Watching Ellen :) She cracks me up. I needed to laugh.
Praying for healing and peace today. Simple as that. Because I Am Doing This.
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